Nothing~ness

Nothing has ever felt as strange as this
I don't know who I am
what I am
what I want.

I feel so strange
Waken each morning to rattling noises
with thoughts that pains me
weaken my motivation,
never allowing me to break free

"Add a little tenderness, make me sane, I'm asking, no!
I'm begging."

Haven't I always been good,
Haven't I tried to be good?
I don't know how much longer I can take this pain

Having you to guide me,
you in my life, I feel
courageous
but I am hurting.
So help me.

Help me to change and do for you
as you need.
My joy has been taken away
that IS my life,I'm I ever so grateful that you've stuck by me
Thank you Jehovah,
Thank you!!